DefKon needs some help

[OxyKon]

Hey guys, bet you thought id never post something here aye yeah so the deal is ive had this track that i started a while back, and i got to this point and had no idea what else to do with it, this is pretty much my 1st attempt at writing tunes, well 2nd attempt i suppose, the 1st attempt i did was a dubstep track at only 1 other person has listened to before

now as embarrassed as i am about this attempted here, i'd really like your help (criticism) on this progress, if its shit, if there is the slightest possibility that it can be an ok track (obviously im not expecting to get signed from this garbage ) whats its lacking, etc, anything you can think of to help me keep goin on it would be greatly appreciated

http://soundcloud.com/defkon86/defkon-breaks-attempt

[Cupe]

the progression is too simple.

i can picture this exactly how it looks in a DAW.

Change it up a little and fuck with it, tweak, mess with the beat every 8th bar or something a bit more

Just needs jazzing up

good start though =D>

[OxyKon]

thanks for the info cupe, im just not sure how to go about it, yeah i know its simple, i thought a nice build up would get shit rolling, but this is all i can figure, been stuck on it for ages

[Jaz]

  Cupe said:

Just needs jazzing up

You called

[Cupe]

  Jaz said:

  Cupe said:

Just needs jazzing up

You called

stay on topic faget

[street]

When I think breaks I think of the amen break and the offbeat snare, and the off beat snare and that syncopation which gives the drums the groove, so maybe chuck some of that in.

Also, maybe a punchier snare would be more suitable.

[russell]

Stick a bit of delay on the bleepy thing here and there. Will make that sound a bit less repetitive and also add a little bit more atmosphere to the track.