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AUSTRALIAN DJ FORUMS

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Forbes Magazine recently reported on the “Electronic Cash Kings” of 2014 and the results—to many—were jaw dropping. That guy who throws cakes all the time netted $23 million, while that guy who eats cakes all the time netted $22 million. David Guetta? $30 million. Calvin Harris? A whopping $66 million. And here I thought all those $60 tickets and headlining slots were just going to charity. As a curious consumer, I was keen to learn what life was like for DJs on the other end of the spectrum.

This year's lowest paid DJs are:

10. Retail and Restaurant DJs

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If you’ve ever been to a Guess, Cactus Club, Abercrombie, or TOPSHOP you’ve likely grooved along with number 10 on our list; the capitalist dogs on top of the local DJ shit list. Retail and restaurant DJs will often (but not always) be an off-duty store employee that totally has a residency and a Traktor S2. Playing one to four times a month and netting $250 to $500 per shift, what they lack in credibility they make up for in store credit.

9. Wedding DJs

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Wedding DJs came close to the top this year, citing the '90s generation as the reason for both their continued success and hatred of their jobs. Compared to Calvin Harris’ $300k per Vegas gig, wedding DJs took a more humble $500 to $750 per gig between Q1 and Q4 this fiscal year. We reached out to a prominent wedding DJ and he was eager to tell us that he “got a bridesmaid's number” in 2013, though she did not end up texting him back.

8. Resident DJs

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What they lack in per gig cash, they make up for in frequency of play. Established resident DJs were earning $150 to $300 plus five drink tickets and three free covers (before 11 PM) this past year. While no bonus dollars were awarded for playing “Tsunami” or “Trophies,” a ground-breaking THUMP study that is totally real found that resident DJs played each song once regardless of theme, set time, or day of the week.

7. Frat Party DJs

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Anyone who has attended college or been that kid with older friends has at some point danced in a frat DJ’s sweatbox and pretended to enjoy their trap remixes. Despite making less than wedding, retail and resident DJs, “freshman pussy and unlimited tequila shots” were the number one reason given by an overwhelming majority of frat party DJs when asked why they play for next to nothing.

6. Opening DJs

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2014 has been great for electronic opening DJs, resulting in average annual incomes of $4800 (un-taxed). Opening DJs for hip-hop acts on the other hand are in increasingly worse positions, frequently agreeing to play for free in exchange for exposure. Driven largely by demand from promoters and ability to also sell tickets, there are more opening slots per week than ever before. It’s not unusual to see Hypem artists booked with up to six openers and a closing DJ, but these ambitious musicians aren’t letting that get in the way of their dreams for success. Kygo said he would 100% listen to an area DJ’s SoundCloud when he gets off tour.

5. Out-of-City DJs

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If you’ve ever seen an opening DJ set up a “mini tour” of two to three dates, you’ll be interested to know that beneath the thin, thin veneer of success lives a thick, oozing mass of lies. Multi-city mini tours trade off DJ fees immediately, resulting in $0 to $50 per gig for the ability to say that you played in San Diego and San Fran back-to-back dates.

4. One-Off Event DJs

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Forming the backbone of C-list nightclubs, one-off event DJs have continued to see significant losses in per gig and year over year earnings. In order to cut costs, these aspiring disk jockeys have quickly gone from low fees to commission pay to nothing at all. The next time you see a Facebook event for a full moon party at Republic (pretty sure there’s one of these in every city), don’t feel annoyed. Feel sad.

3. DJ Contest Entrants

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Entrants continue to enter DJ contests despite the fact that all of them (except the Red Bull Thre3style) are complete scams. Featuring a rotating lineup of Virtual DJ hopefuls, these performers bring their friends out to hear them play for 20 minutes. They will be judged on song choice (arbitrary), crowd reaction (how many people they bring out), technicality (because the GM is totally paying attention), and vibe. In exchange, they walk out with the potential to open for a DJ at another club for no money.

2. DJ First Name Last Initial

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If you decide to start DJing and go by DJ Matt P, DJ Steven C, DJ Tommy T, or DJ Fuckwad M, your net worth is jack shit. Please stop.

1. DJs Who Are Just Waiting For The Right Opportunity

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They bought Ableton, synths, a full CDJ 2000 setup, and their own Daft Punk helmet on their mom’s credit card, but they refuse to play a gig until it’s a headlining slot. These are the starry-eyed adolescents of the industry, and they’re just a couple of YouTube tutorials away from paying off the interest on their unnecessary purchases.

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