Cupe Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 The BroHammer (or the crundy)Come at me bro… Come at me bro… Do you even lift?This guy couldn’t tell you the difference between Dubstep and House music, but he could tell you how to thicken out that weak upper chest. He works as a personal trainer, after all. His weekend festival packing checklist includes a hefty supply of protein powder, self-tanner and short shorts. What it does not include is a shirt.The Halloween HeroAlso known as an attention whore, this wild creature needs to show up the festivals own production by dressing up in something crazy. They feed off your bewildered looks, and yes, they will take a picture with you. Common examples are green man, zombies an 15 feet tall animatronic replicas of megatron.The DivaThis character parallels the aforementioned BroHammer with a touch of femininity. She will be wearing tastefully placed pasties and a g-string.The Knock OutWas it an overdose? No one knows, but the paramedics are on their way. When they get there, she’ll try to act like shes fine. And no, she didn’t take anything, sir.The GroupieHashtag bootyforborgore. The groupie will do anything to get backstage, and do anything once she is backstage. She avidly follows her favorite DJ on twitter, and even got retweeted by them once — so they’re technically dating.The PuristHe was going to raves before they were cool. This hipster aficionado goes to festivals purely for the music and to see the most talented DJs get down on the decks. He despises pretty much everyone around him and will try to launch headfirst into a debate with you about how trap music is killing EDM.The Aging RaverThe aging raver was around when the scene was birthed. He’s friends with Frankie Bones and used to kick it with Carl Cox at the after party. He remembers when people wore clothes at raves, phat pants were a thing, and Acid House is all the DJs would spin.The Silk Road TravelerNeed Molly? Need this, need that…. this guy has it all. His backpack is essentially a pharmacy that carries strictly schedule 1 drugs. There to make money, not see pretty girls or listen to music. You’ll often see him sprinting through a crowd at full speed with officer Smith hot on his heels.The Level 40 Kandi MasterDo you want to trade some kandi, bro? The Kandi master is well-known at the local hobby shop, where he buys economy size bags of beads. He’ll trade you anything except for that one really special piece that his girlfriend made for him.Way Too HighTakes all the drugs.The P-TotIt took her two weeks of nagging at her mom to let her go to EDC, but she finally got her to cave in. She’s maybe 15, but has a fake ID so getting into festivals is no problem. This walking crime is going to try her hardest to get a man to commit statutory tonight.The First TimerDubstep is her favorite band, and she bought a deadmowfive shirt to show off that she’s totally a fan.The Annoying WhistlerListen… She’s totally beat-matching the track with her whistle. This isn’t annoying at all.The ShufflerThe shuffler is quickly becoming a rare breed in today’s festival world. The shuffle-soldiers who do remain have continued the tradition of apparently needing a 1000 square foot radius with which they can dance in.The Butt ScratchaA cultural meme gone south. You can’t leave a rave without hearing “BUTT SCRATCHA!” 100 times on the way out. Thanks Peter.The WolfpackThis group is fully dedicated to running with wolves. First Becky bought her spirit hood, then Miranda got one, and pretty soon this 20 person deep crew all followed suit. They’re so rave. The Crowd KillerGet out of the way! This sidewalk belongs to crowd killer. He’ll bash through everyone on his way to the front of the stage, offering an insincere apology to every other person he mangles. Sorry about your shoes, bro.The Overt HomosexualIf you don’t look closely, at first, you would think this was a chick from behind. He’s rocking the shortest leather shorts you’ve ever seen, is shaved from head to toe, and has a strut that puts runway models to shame.Bangin’ on dance floorThis couple popped tamales and started feeling themselves a little too hard on the dance floor. They’ll probably end up leaving three hours early so they can get back to the Motel 6.From betherave.com Quote
mattus123 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 haha this is great!Im all of those people at the same time Quote
styga Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 haha this is great!Im all of those people at the same time the overt homosexual...? Quote
GREMM1S Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 haha this is great!Im all of those people at the same time the overt homosexual...?hahaha Quote
Jarred Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 lol @ way to high,i always laugh at that guy, they always seem to be having a good time. Quote
andyman Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Fuck I lol'd at the CrundySent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk 4 Beta Quote
mattus123 Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 i was more referring to myself being a brohammer! Quote
crundyy Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 hahaha we nearly bashed a purist at stereo last year. Quote
russell Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 hahaha we nearly bashed a purist at stereo last year. Quote
GREMM1S Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 hahaha we nearly bashed a purist at stereo last year.And there is the problem with festivals Quote
crundyy Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 hahaha it wasnt for no reason at all, me and my mates were just being fuckwits as usual, talking shit and dancing with bish's and this guy had a go at my mate about how "we're not even there for the music" and I replied "why do you care why we're here? were having fun while your here (by yourself) thinking to yourself about how good or bad the music/what they should be playing etc" he then called me a roided up lebo and I got pretty pissed off (was on about 8 googs at this point) and one thing led to another, I dont really care about other people at festivals, im there to have fun and here some music, I dont care if i hear the same song too many times or the sets, aslong as theres drinks, music and loweys involved im happy and some nerdy little purist isnt going to talk to me like that./rant Quote
yizzle Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 just ignore em mate and do what you said your there for. To have fun Quote
crundyy Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 that's what I ended up doing bro I had a chick on my shoulders and was dancing with her friend i asked him "you mad bro?" and he walked away Quote
GREMM1S Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 hahaha it wasnt for no reason at all, me and my mates were just being fuckwits as usual, talking shit and dancing with bish's and this guy had a go at my mate about how "we're not even there for the music" and I replied "why do you care why we're here? were having fun while your here (by yourself) thinking to yourself about how good or bad the music/what they should be playing etc" he then called me a roided up lebo and I got pretty pissed off (was on about 8 googs at this point) and one thing led to another, I dont really care about other people at festivals, im there to have fun and here some music, I dont care if i hear the same song too many times or the sets, aslong as theres drinks, music and loweys involved im happy and some nerdy little purist isnt going to talk to me like that./ranthahaha fair call then Quote
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